Archive for the Random Category
Facebook Status Updates 13
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Facebook Status Updates 12
used to have no life. Now I have a laptop and Facebook! is wondering if they could invent a self cleaning oven, why can't they invent a self cleaning house? will not be responsible for her actions if she doesn't get some chocolate soon first the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, t
Facebook Status Updates 11
The only personal growth I've had this year is around my waistline. Isn't it odd the way everyone automatically assumes that the goo in soap dispensers is always soap? I like to fill mine with mustard, just to teach people a lesson in trust. Progress is made by lazy men looking for an easie
333 ways to get kicked out of Wal Mart
1. Take someone's shopping cart and switch the items with stuff from the person next to them's cart 2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment 3. Smash the person in front of you on the head with a ham
Facebook Status Updates 10
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ❒ Team Edward ❒ Team Jacob ✔ Team guy who almost hit Bella with a car Forgetting an email attachment is the 21st century's version of licking an envelope shut and then real
Facebook Status Updates 9
Give peace a chance. Move to a new town and don't tell your relatives. "What's that!! An earthquake?" "YES!! RUN!!!" "OMG, WAIT" *runs to the computer and writes on Facebook* EARTHQUAAAAAAKE!!! Eat right, exercise, die anyway. You know you're getting older when happy hour is a nap. A tru
